For Better or Best

I think one of the most powerful arguments for us Christian couples to work at our marriages is that marriage is, as Pastor Rick said Sunday, a sort of object lesson, a “pretaste” of our relationship as a church (the Bride) to Jesus Christ (the Bridegroom).

In For Better or Best, author Gary Smalley gives some marital advice that I will adapt for this blog. These are ways that couples can grow and stay close to each other. And don’t stop reading, singles, because there’s an application for you, too:

1. Share common experiences together. Don’t make a habit of going separate ways; plan times of togetherness.
2. Attack and conquer tragedies as a couple, not as individuals. Deal with hard times as a team.
3. Make important decisions together. The Smalley’s history of arguing was finally broken when they purposed “never to make final decisions on matters that affected both of us unless we both agreed.”
4. Develop a sense of humor. Lighten up.
5. Understand each other’s personality traits. Each of us have strengths and weaknesses, and understanding our spouse’s (and our own) can help us appreciate how we complement each other, and can also help us bear more patiently with how and why we clash!

And all of us, whether married or single, can apply these points to our relationship with Jesus. Are we going for better or for best in our life with Him?

Do Jesus and I share common experiences together? Or do I pull away in certain areas of my life, and live independently of Christ?
Do we attack and conquer tragedies together, or do I invent my own ways of coping, and adopt solutions without consulting Him?
Do we make important decisions together, with me recognizing Him as not only Bridegroom, but Lord?
Is there joy in our life together? Or has everything gotten very serious? No matter the outward circumstances, can I - to some degree at least - “be of good cheer, because He has overcome the world”?
Do I understand, or try to understand, Jesus’ perspective, His likes and dislikes? Do I appreciate His complete understanding of me? Does it give me confidence to trust His leading and stay close to Him?

Good questions for spouses… and for all believers, married or not.

Offering Leftovers

There they sat, in clear plastic storage containers with blue lids… five-day-old leftovers.

You had sniffed the meat to make sure it wasn’t spoiled. Added a fresh quarter-cup of Italian dressing to the pasta salad to bring back the zing. And stirred the watery pool that had collected on the pudding. Then you called,

“Dinner’s ready!”

So they all came and they all ate. And it was okay, maybe, for middle-of-the-week must-goes, or just-before-groceries-and-the-cupboards-are-bare. But for the Sunday meal with special guests? For dinner with the boss and his wife? For a farewell send-off party or the celebration of a special accomplishment?

Leftovers aren’t for special times or special people. They’re what’s left over from times that we did consider special, from people we did really want to honor.

So it’s worth wondering, “Who do I put out the best china for in my life? Who gets the royal treatment, the choicest cut, the freshest fare? Me? The employer? The family? The house? The bank account? The television? ...

“God?”

Few of us really intend to insult God by giving Him the leftovers of our time and energy and devotion, fitting Him in when a gnawing sense of obligation overtakes us. Few of us realize that we approach quiet time with Him like we’ve just raided the fridge… that we reconstitute the same phrases we’ve used for years, and set out our prayers in little microwaveable dishes… We just wonder why He doesn’t seem too excited about what we’ve placed before Him.

What’s exciting about getting us when we’re dead-tired and our concentration’s shot? Getting our resources only after they’ve been picked over by everyone and everything that wants a piece of us? What’s so exciting about being offered leftovers?

We need reminded that God deserves better, but He’s not going to demand it. It’s up to us to offer our best, our firstfruits, our all. To spread it all out in a lavish buffet and say to God, “You are the One I want to honor, above everyone and everything else. Here is the best that I have.

“Come and dine.”

What Can I Afford?

It’s hard for many people today to relate to their grandparent’s stories – how difficult it was during the Great Depression, the ingenious ways they came up with to earn a little money, how they made use of everything and threw almost nothing away (and, of course, how far they had to walk to the school bus :).

I especially notice it in the music… Old-time gospel songs, even songs from slavery days, were penned and sung by people going through hard times and full of the longing for better days. Songs like, “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot,” “Everybody Will Be Happy Over There,” “It Will Be Worth It All.” They celebrated the time when all wrongs will be made right, and rejoiced that one day everyone will finally have enough of all they want and need, and abundantly more beside. And because of that confidence, they could afford to wait.

Today there are a few notable songs about heaven, but mostly we sing about loving God and living for Him here and now. Maybe we have it comfortable enough here that we don’t think of there that much… or maybe it seems wrong to serve God now for what we’re going to get out of it in the future.

But even Christ endured the cross and despised its shame for the joy set before him (Heb. 12:2), so I think it’s okay to find strength for today by looking ahead to better times. Particularly when, like the Corinthians, we’re struggling with situations where we’re being taken advantage of, when we want to retaliate, when in the eyes of the world we have every “right” to assert our rights to our personal benefit. That’s the time to look ahead and to ask ourselves,

”What can I afford here?” Can I afford to lose a brother or sister in Christ? Can I afford to smear the church’s name? Can I afford to disappoint Christ and to disillusion watching unbelievers? Can I really afford to win my rights in this case?

A. W. Tozer used to say, “We will have all eternity to be happy. We can afford to wait.” We can endure the injustice or the inequality or the just plain unfairness of it all – for the joy set before us. We can let somebody else get there first, have the bigger piece, even take some of ours – for the joy set before us.

We can afford to wait .

P.S. To enjoy some of those good ole gospel songs, come to FAC's Gospel Celebration III on June 1!

Caring for the Body

I guess one thing that’s very obvious from this sermon series in 1 Corinthians, is that sometimes the Body of Christ doesn’t look like the Body of Christ. Doesn’t act like it. And doesn’t even seem to care.

Maybe it’s a little like the way we handle our own bodies… taking them for granted, misusing them, expecting too much - or asking nothing of them, instead pacifying their every whim until they’re soft and flabby. We forget that we need that heart for the duration of life here on earth. And life’s a challenge without a good set of lungs, a strong set of knees, a sharp pair of eyes. In fact, not a whole lot is easily expendable… Oh, well, thumb, a little gangrene won’t kill you… Yes, that looks risky, but what’s a broken rib or two?

Have we ever done that with a brother or sister in Christ? Taken them for granted, feeling no responsibility for their spiritual health and vitality? When we see the light go out of their eyes and the spring out of their step, do we feel any sense of connection, any sense that we have lost something, too? When we see them sin, do we feel somehow tainted, too?

There should be no division in the body, but… its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it (1 Cor. 12:25-26 NIV).

That means that if any part wonders, Am I my brother’s keeper?, the answer is, “Yes.” Christ’s blood flows through all of us. We are connected. So in a Christlike manner, lets live like it.