It’s How You Say It

I remember as a teenager being strictly admonished by my father for something I had done. It was not to be repeated. “Do you understand?” he finished. I affirmed that I understood.

That’s when the trouble escalated. I think it was not my agreement with him that got me into hotter water… it must have been that flippant tone in my voice and the dismissive shrug of my shoulders. My father had not been merely listening to my reply; he was watching for my attitude. And it was in for a change.

My parents were in cahoots about this sort of thing. I can still hear mom insisting: “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Attitude.

I think of that in relation to persecution. Yes, it’s to be expected in some form, though for most of us (but not all) it’s quite diluted. As Keith pointed out Sunday, we should never invite persecution, just to feed our martyr’s complex. But when it does come…with what attitude do we greet it? That’s what our Father is watching for. And that’s what makes all the difference in the world.

I think it gets a little complicated sometimes, hard to know just what attitude we should take. For instance, there exists in America an element of general persecution against the unborn, against conservative Christianity, against traditional values, etc., etc. This is displayed in areas of the entertainment industry, the business world, and the government… and comes home to lodge sometimes in the places we work and the movies we watch and even the attitudes of loved ones who oppose our views and values.

How do we respond to hostility and opposition at each of these levels? How do we answer our relative, or the public figure that seeks to destroy our freedoms? What is our attitude? Is it militant and abrasive? Do we turn their tactics on them, give them a taste of their own medicine? Focus on their demise? Be slanderous, ruthless, merciless?

How then will we win these who are against our Lord and His followers? Or are we saying that they’re not “winnable,” that they’re hopeless and we only need to be Christlike to those who seem open to our message?

The apostle Paul left us a prime example of how to treat persecution at any level. It doesn’t matter if we are crusading against abortion or living with an unbelieving, antagonistic spouse:

Live wisely among those who are not Christians, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone – Col. 4:5-6 NLT

I say it’s complicated, because there surely is a time for exposing evil and confronting the work of Satan in this world. There’s a need for crusaders of righteousness. But there’s no need for mean-spiritedness and ridicule. An ambush by the low road may win the battle, but lose the war. We may regain personal rights but alienate eternal souls. May beat back the opposition, but give it reason to turn its face from God forever.

So I think my parents had it right. It’s not just what we say, it’s the attitude with which we say it. It’s not what we do, but the motive and spirit with which we do it. We needn’t be doormats; we are called to take a stand. But we’d better be careful. Our attitude is on display, and we don’t want to get into hot water with Father.